How often have you thought, “I’ll apply for that job when I feel more confident,” or “I’ll start that project when I’m sure I can do it well”? It feels logical, right? Wait for the feeling of confidence, then take the leap. But what if that’s backward? What if waiting for confidence is the very thing keeping you stuck?
The often counter-intuitive truth is that genuine, lasting confidence is rarely something that just appears out of nowhere. More often than not, confidence isn’t the prerequisite for action; it’s the result of it. This post explores why taking action, even small, imperfect steps, is one of the most powerful ways to actually build genuine self-assurance.
The Myth of Waiting for Confidence
It feels safer to wait until we feel ready, capable, and sure of success before we act. This waiting game is often driven by fear – fear of failure, fear of judgment, fear of looking foolish, or fear of confirming our own feelings of inadequacy. We tell ourselves we need that internal boost first.
The problem is, this creates a paralyzing loop. If you only act when you feel confident, but confidence primarily comes from the experience of acting and succeeding (even in small ways), you can end up waiting forever. It looks like this:
- Feel Lack of Confidence ➔ Avoid Taking Action ➔ Gain No New Experience/Evidence of Capability ➔ Confidence Doesn’t Grow ➔ Still Avoid Taking Action…
The Action-Confidence Feedback Loop
The way out of the waiting trap is to flip the script: take action first, even if it feels uncomfortable. Here’s how it works:
- You Take Action (Even Tiny): You push through the discomfort and do something small related to your goal.
- You Get Feedback/Experience: The action provides real-world information. Maybe it went okay, maybe it was messy, maybe you learned what not to do.
- You Gather Evidence: Regardless of the outcome, you now have concrete evidence that you can act despite fear, and you survived! You might also gain evidence of a small success or a lesson learned.
- Uncertainty Reduces Slightly: The task or situation feels a tiny bit less unknown and therefore less threatening.
- Competence/Familiarity Grows: You’ve learned something, practiced a skill, or navigated a situation once.
- Confidence Increases (Minimally at first): Based on the evidence and reduced uncertainty, your belief in your ability to handle that specific step grows.
- Next Action Feels Easier: The slightly increased confidence makes taking the next small step less daunting.
This is the powerful positive feedback loop we discussed on our main Build Confidence page; action fuels confidence, which fuels further action.
Embrace Imperfect Action
A major barrier to taking action is often perfectionism, the belief that we must do something perfectly or not at all. This is closely linked to feelings of inadequacy. But aiming for perfection right out of the gate is unrealistic and paralyzing.
Think about learning any new skill, like riding a bicycle. Did you wait until you felt perfectly confident and balanced before getting on? No! You got on, likely feeling scared and awkward. You wobbled (imperfect action), maybe fell (feedback/experience), got back up, adjusted (learning), and tried again. Your confidence grew through the messy process of doing, not before it.
Give yourself permission to be a beginner, to be imperfect, to learn as you go. The goal isn’t a flawless performance; the goal is to start and progress.
Practical Ways to Take Imperfect Action
- The “Minimum Viable Action”: What’s the absolute smallest version of the action you can take just to start? Aim for progress, not perfection.
- Focus on Process, Not Outcome: Instead of worrying about whether the action will lead to immediate success, focus on simply completing the action itself. Did you make the call? Did you write for 10 minutes? Did you submit the application? Celebrate the effort itself and the act of showing up.
- Use Timeboxing: Commit to working on the task for a very short, defined period (e.g., 10, 15, or 25 minutes using the Pomodoro Technique) without worrying about the result during that time. Just put in the time.
- Seek Feedback Early (When Appropriate): Don’t wait until something feels “perfect.” Share a draft, ask for input on an initial idea, or get feedback on a small part of the process. This can provide guidance and make the next steps clearer and less daunting.
Conclusion: Action First, Confidence Follows
Stop waiting for the feeling of confidence to magically appear before you pursue your goals. In most cases, confidence is earned through the act of doing, learning, and adapting. Choose one area where fear or self-doubt is holding you back. Identify one small, imperfect action you can take today. Take that step. It might feel uncomfortable, but it’s the most direct path to building the genuine, resilient confidence you seek.
Explore more strategies for building self-assurance and staying driven on our main pages:
➡️ Learn More About Building Confidence
➡️ Discover Tips to Stay Motivated